Project Big O – The Introduction.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for has arrived.
As I promised some months ago, I am about to share with you my journey to winning back my sexuality.

In this whole process I had to find the strength to overcome some traumas that kind of made it hard for me to ”complete” my relationships or even find love.

I grew up in a family, as most of you have probably already noticed, where love was underestimated. My mother did love my father – she still does, even though she is never going to admit it. This kind of love though, was nothing else other than toxic. It did destroy everything as the time started passing by and most of all, it made me who I am today. With my issues, my dreams, my fears and hopes.
Let me talk you into this, cause I don’t think you’ve got the idea yet.

project big o.jpg

What my parents ( the rest of the family is just as involved in how things turned up to be) got me into, has only made me mature in a very young age. As I’ve mentioned in some of my older posts, my father is an alcoholic that did love the company of women. I found out about that, when I was still too young to understand. To separate the good and the bad. I was to young to learn that not every man is going to treat his woman the same way, nor am I going to walk the same path like my mother did.

Well, I am 18 now. It still is pretty early to actually open your eyes and see the truth. Other people realise such things when they first turn 60. And that’s the reason why I want to write about this whole story. I want to help the rest of you that have experienced the same things like I did and finally move on.

Growing up in an environment where trust isn’t earned but absent. With a man that definitely wasn’t ready to be a husband nor a father. And with a woman that didn’t learn any better from her own family, but really did want a better childhood for me. Is the reason I sabotaged my relationships with men over and over again in the past. The reason why I always wanted to be something better than ”Her”. And the reason I kept finding myself laying in bed with my heart broken. My parents are the reason I lost faith in love, the reason I never managed to maintain a healthy relationship or even a relationship that would last more than 3 months.

And yet yesterday, 06.06.2017 me and Denny had officially been together for 5 months. *Unofficially we’ve been seeing each other for 5 and half or almost 6 months – but that’s off the record* AND THAT’S A GREAT ACHIEVEMENT! Looking back to my previous relationships, a lot of things have changed. Most of all I’ve changed the way I handle things now. I no longer compete with my mother or hate my father for destroying the fairy-tale for me. But I am trying to make sense out of all this called ”life” and find my own happy ending.

Okay so let me rephrase that. This whole project is based on my experiences in love and sex, including some great tips that could help you and your sex-life with your partner or partners ;). Either way stay tuned cause more posts are on their way!!


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