”WOW Nina! This is the longest you’ve been single in the past few years.” was what my little cousin said today on our way to Esslingen.
Well, that’s true. I haven’t been seeing anybody, I haven’t been talking/flirting to anyone online, I am barely going out…
I am literally spending my time watching one movie after the other. You know this kind of feeling when you kind of need your time to catch up in life? Like you don’t feel like living for a moment of two.
You are tired all the time, you are sick of seeing the exact same faces everyday, listening to the same old drama, you are annoyed because everywhere you look, you only seem to find unmotivated people, without dreams, passions, expectations about life and cheap relationships.
Friendships – as far as I’ve been taught – mean being close to somebody special. Being able to open up, share your fears and hopes… It’s all about acceptance, trust and support.
Well I don’t know about other countries but I am specifically speaking about my city in Germany, where everyone is he for him. ”You need some help? Go break your neck I ain’t gonna help you, I got my own problems” kind of thing. One day they love you, I mean you are damn cool and the next day they forget all about you. When it comes to relationships, as in boy-girl, girl-girl, boy-boy, threesome, foursome, boy-dog (say what?!?!), IT’S THE EXACT SAME THING! There are no actual feelings, people are so busy doing their own thing that they forget how important it is to ”belong” somewhere, to socialize, to love…
Soooo, I came up with a theory… (Based on the movie ”how to be single” but that’s unimportant- I’ll move on)
We are growing up believing that we have to be in relationships! If you’ve got a partner you are hot, clever, girly, amazing, cool. NOOO! Why would being single or not determine who you really are. You are you- Mary or whatever (add name here ……………………) can’t change the fact you are YOU!
We have to get over this false idea of relationships. Like seriously we spend our youth worrying about being alone and we don’t realize that the point of being young is to live our damn lives.
We are not supposed to cry over people that at the end of the day are going to be replaced soon or later.
Or let me put it in other words… We all talk about ”LOVE”– this magical thing that nobody really can describe, they may not even know what it is – well my point is: How are you supposed to know if it really is love when you keep finding yourself in pointless relationships? Of course it might feel right in the start so you give it a try but how can you say ”I feel alone” and keep trying to find the next lover. How do you expect love to find you when YOU don’t know YOU?
When you feel lonely, but keep selling your body to the night (Stolen from the song Roxanne), how are you expecting to fill the gap inside of you when you gift yourself to borrowed people? All I am trying to say is: The thing you say you need is going to stop being important if you try to find it on every corner. All this excitement, the lust, the insecurity, your heartbeat… This is all going to disappear. It’s going to look like a routine, new guy-lets try him out. BAM-BOOM-next one!
Where is romance, damn it?
That’s what we’re all looking for right? (Well not all of us- anyways I am going to talk about that another time.)
Let’s try one more time to be clear about this:
It’s not bad to be single, you’ve got some extra time for yourself. Get to know you better, if you want to know what’s best for you. Make new friends, Travel, start new hobbies, experiment.
What do you think?