It’s my life.

Many of us have probably gone through this stage in their lifetime.
In a stage where nobody trusts the judgment on things such as, future life, work, studies etc.
In my situation, from my mothers point of view of course, I have been her biggest mistake, because I am the one that brought her to Germany and made her believe I am actually going to do something in my life.
Let me bring you 2 years ago when the idea of coming in Germany was as fresh as a daisy.
”If we go in Germany it will be better for my future, I will be able to finish school and study something that I like with high chances of finding a job” is exactly what I said to her to persuade her to move out of the crisis, but I think she translated it a bit wrong:
”Let’s go to Germany and I swear I will study whatever just to make you proud because you don’t want me to end up working like a dog for a slice of bread, plus we have to show to the motherfuckers back here that we don’t need them!” UHHHMM no!

She came in my room 10 minutes ago and started talking about my future plans which have changed quite a lot in the last years with the thought that I am going to do nothing in my life.
Last week I canceled a apprenticeship for a medical practice , because I realised that this job would only make me unhappy and sick (she was really happy in the thought that I was going to be a doctor assistant). And I decided to wait a little bit more until another opportunity comes instead of just following the first option. I thought it would be better to take a risk with an exchange of happiness. I don’t really mind if this opportunity will come to me now or in 2 years because in the meantime I would prefer to be working and gain some experience anyways.
But once again her brain missed some information about my plan and made her believe that I am going to be laying around for the rest of my life, doing nothing for my future – meaning It was the worse idea that she believed me in the first place.
To be honest here, making her leave Greece back then was the best thing I’ve done. Not only because of the crisis or because she had been working 14 hours per day with the lowest salary a woman with a ”kid” deserves but because of our past, because of the people that kept bringing us down and because of the whole stress with my father and his alcoholism.
I would like to let all of you that read my blog, that when you become parents or when your kids come to this point in their life, you should let them make their own paths.
Maybe their way will lead them to all you wished for them or maybe not but as long as it makes them happy you have no right to take this away from them.
Most of you have made your decisions and your mistakes but you’ve learned from them, we are young and we have to get to know ourselves and limits in order to move forward! If we keep doing all our parents want us to do just to make them happy, we will be the ones that live someone else’s life.
I am Nina, 17 years old. I like taking risks in order to be happy, I am ambitious and I’ve been dreaming a lot. Maybe dreaming for you sounds like a stupid way of making plans but I believe that without dreaming you are never going to achieve anything in your life. And for that reason I am never going to let anybody take the ability of dreaming or the right of making decisions away from me.
Thank you for being here for me mum, thank you for putting up with my shit since I was born but now it’s my time to take my life in my hands in all costs.
I wish you could accept this and I would like to have your support throughout my journey.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s