Dear ideal boyfriend

dear ideal bfDear ideal boyfriend,

I probably told you already, I love you.
You may not believe it cause love is now a word with many meanings:
– You look hot
– I want to sleep with you
– I have to say this, because we are together
– I don’t know what it means i just say it…
and many, many more.
My love for you is probably the first two mixed with a bunch of feelings, that drive me crazy day and night.
They feel like pain when we argue, they taste like crepes when we kiss and they control my heartbeat 24/7.
I should probably let you know that i am looking so far away in our future, we will get married on a sunny day, surrounded with the people that love us, without a priest – cause this kind of marriage has to do with god but ours is based on love, we will have a kid named Luna Isabella and a pretty colourfull house with a big garden.
I know i am crazy, and jealous, and sometimes aggressive, and maybe a little bit too insecure, probably the reason we argue and a bit too protective, but i am only afraid i am ever going to lose you.
I want to do everything right and give you the best and when I fail, I blame it on myself.
I hope you never hear about my past… my one night-stands, my awful ex boyfriends/ex girlfriends and the weird bitchy phases I have been through…
I am a hopeless romantic, seeking for the right person to love me, and when i am alone i lose every little piece of hope that i am ever going to be loved… Everything I have done are probably results of my low self confidence and my disappointment in relationships.
And here we go, i’ve found YOU.
The only guy that flirts with me after 3 years of relationship, that holds me close every night, that brings me flowers in bed when I am ill – even if i am the one that planted them in our garden, that helps me decorate our house, that changes the light bulbs because I’m shorter, that cooks with me, that takes me for a walk on Sundays, that lets me talk and talk and talk and still doesn’t go away because he thinks I am stupid.
You are all I ever wanted, you are the one i need.

But it’s too sad you aren’t here, it is so unfair that you are only in my head.
If i had 3 wishes, you would be my first one.

love you,
Nina – your future girlfriend

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